Threesomes: Loving being a unicorn

Whenever she very first requested me if I’d be thinking about having fun with the girl along with her heterosexual cis-male companion, I wasn’t selecting a three-way. I wanted to explore intercourse with femme-presenting women.

We watched partners whom looked-for thirds just how many others perform, as shady and only enthusiastic about their particular increases – since dreaded unicorn hunters.

But the woman message was type, and I thought, ‘Then?’

I’d no experience with threesomes with bi-curious couples. I experienced just turn out a-year prior as a bisexual and polyamorous girl after hiding for several years, and jumping in one monogamous direct relationship to next.

Getting bisexual brought the typical tags of being ‘dirty’ for appreciating both women and men sexually.

Becoming polyamorous and engaging in informal intercourse intended I became too promiscuous, not emotionally committed enough, and branded a cheater before we even found for a coffee.

Getting plus-size with a human anatomy image/eating condition just enhanced the emotions of inadequacy and embarrassment for whom Im.

When she messaged me personally, telling myself she believed I was breathtaking, and asking us to satisfy this lady along with her lover for a glass or two and watch exactly how we felt, I got the chance.

Two lips rather than one, four arms in the place of two worshipped my own body, and I all of them. And for the first time in a really long time, we thought desired, attractive, and wanted. And first and foremost, we felt like I could finally end up being me.

U

nicorn shopping
is quite
an expression that describes
couples, generally speaking cisgender, bi-curious ones, on the lookout for a third to participate all of them for intimate play. This
third
, aptly known as the
‘unicorn’
for all the sensed rareness of the life, is preferably a cisgender, slim, femme-presenting bisexual or bi-curious girl, one who is actually single, delighted with no Strings Attached (NSA) arrangements, and you will be sexually exclusive because of the couple.

I’m not a genuine unicorn as I’m perhaps not solitary, intimately exclusive, nor slim.

My primary lover phone calls me personally a rainicorn alternatively. I have found the definition of endearing as rainicorns (impressed by

Adventure Time

) can be bought in all sorts of tints, forms, and personalities. I thrive on becoming a third for couples, taking their unique sexual fantasies your minus the extra strings of a difficult attachment. We take fantastic satisfaction in-being the item both need.

Intimacy, in my situation, tends to be but an excellent minute, a short nights passion with no further expectations.

Anti-unicorn hunting has continued to develop from a need to highlight the harms many bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting ladies experience while they are hunted by partners for prospective three-ways. It typically promotes throuple and triad circumstances versus one-off intimate experiences to guarantee the rights of included.

And I also obtain it. Bisexual women can be usually coated as promiscuous, sexual items, sexually fresh, hyper-sexual, and assumed is upwards for any and all of sex, including three-ways. Lots of have-been maltreated through this training of hunting, and therefore is not discounted.

To be honest though, Im the majority of those activities. Getting a unicorn happens to be the best set in which these facets of my identification which are regularly colored as myths about bisexual folks are appreciated.

As the feminist philosopher Ann Cahill suggests, not to end up being intimately objectified, eg regarding fat ladies, can be seen as being refused a sex and authorization to relish pleasure, something to that I have actually believed strongly in most of living.

Embracing this identity has actually enabled me to look for sexual fulfilment in a unique group of means, and also to engage my personal hyper-sexuality, in place of reject it.

I’m fed up with individuals talking for my situation, making the assumption that I’m always susceptible to exploitation throughout the absolute assumption of my bisexuality and femme-presenting gender. That becoming hunted implies I am constantly victim. That I must usually wish a deep, passionate, and continuous relationship with one or two in place of one thing relaxed.

W

hile the audience is colored as ‘rare’, i do believe there may be even more females at all like me in hiding. After all, why would we or any person want to come forward openly as a unicorn, whenever user discussion forums etc paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting’ and simply wanting to ‘spice upwards their unique boring intercourse physical lives’?

Where really does that keep those of us just who enjoy being element of those dynamics once the hunted?

Whenever shaming these partners occurs, we have been also shaming the unicorns who take part in these methods. We have been creating the narrative in which bi-curious NSA three-ways tend to be viewed as always inherently problematic experiences, and strengthening the idea that ladies just ever want romantic connection, we cannot possibly be contemplating just sex.

We should instead open up room and become aware associated with the assortment of sexual experiences. We could possibly engage in a variety of intimate procedures and engagements, and some of us looking for bi women, getting promiscuous, open to NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, is certainly not a bad thing.

Neither is it a naturally adverse representation of bisexuality a lot more broadly. All things considered, it isn’t the representation this is the problem, it is the way in which it’s weaponised.

Sadly, the anti-unicorn ‘community’ is doing a damn fine work of pathologising me personally, and females at all like me, because we dare decide to embrace areas of ourselves which can be seen as a ‘problem’ by others. Because we dare is ‘bad’ bisexuals.

I’m a bisexual ‘rainicorn’.

And I you should not similar to becoming hunted.

I fucking like it.

Rainicorn works in investigation, targeting figures, sexuality and gender, intimate procedures, and health insurance and wellness. She identifies as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic lady, and is sex positive, kink/fetish good, and fat good. Within her spare time, she likes painting and composing music, plus the delicious delights of carnal underworld.

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